then and now

Notice: the red lipstick, not that it doesn't jump out or anything, highlighting my prized braces; the gray blazer, courtesy of my mother's 80s collection; and the blue shirt that features two birds and reads below the crop, "love conquers hate." I'm sitting with Sarah, fellow cellist, happily awaiting rehearsal at Hill Auditorium. The time this picture was taken was right around the dawn of a new age: the social media era. I had a blog, I was moving away from myspace at this point, and shortly after this photo was taken - my coveted invite to join Facebook from Sarah came via email.

Not much has changed since 9th grade. I still wear red lipstick on occasion, though the braces are gone. I still have in my possession the gray blazer, though I rarely wear it. And, well, I outgrew the blue shirt but I still have a magnetic pull to basically anything with a bird on it (see: Put A Bird On It). As for my future, it pretty much follows the "love conquers hate" concept (at least I'd like to think so).

The real difference between these two photos, besides knowing now how to crop a photo as to not feature my large forehead, is that then I had all the faith in the world that Facebook meant community. Then, I thought, Facebook equivocated maturity and broke away from the ever-juvenile myspace.

But that faith is gone. Facebook was nice, for a while, but then it became basically a way to "creep" on people - and this creeping isn't secretive or in any way thought of as actual stalking (though in some cases, I am sure it has been). Snooping on photos and wall posts and shared links became a way of seeing where a person has gone in life, and most people are hooked. Even the advertisements started to creep on me - they somehow always knew what I was thinking or doing. I am sure you computer geeks have a name for this, but I think it is just invasive.

So, despite having access to status updates, notes, photos, videos, event invitations, and so much more priceless data all wrapped up in one location, I am saying goodbye. Au reviour, Facebook! Facebook, you have given me a great and entertaining locale to waste hours of time, but in those hours I have become closer to no one, really. The interesting thing about social media is that it changed technology from allowing one person to communicate to many, to many to communicate to many (watch: One to many - Many to many about 2:20 to 4:10). And though the idea of a community where each individual can be heard is intriguing, something happens when everyone talks at the same time: nothing gets heard.

For example, my best friends from elementary school and through high school - I have no idea "where" most of them are in life. Sure, I can read they are in Muskegon or East Lansing or back in Traverse City, but really location has nothing to do with where one's soul is, or how a physical changing of location has influenced a change in heart. Maybe I could have utilized Facebook to answer these burning questions, but I was too busy trying to compile the answers by looking at their every photo. I felt updated when they updated their statuses. And how false is that?

Facebook is great for many things, but not for me anymore. But part of becoming older and wiser is recognizing the difference between following something because it's where everyone else is going, or following something because it's where your heart is.

My heart is right here, in my words. My heart is in connecting on a deeper level with those I care deeply for. My heart need not be clouded by the murkiness and false-community Facebook has to offer. And, evermore, my heart is open to find its own way.

Love conquers hate,
SSB